Plead Forgiveness (Loyalty Series) Page 13

  “Aye, honey, we value ye more than ye will ever ken. Come, my wee warrior, ‘tis time to ride afore we are attacked again and have need of yer skill to save our arses.”

  After speaking briefly with Warin then bidding the man farewell, the Macleods walked over to their mounts. Just as Osgood was about to lift Ella to Gavin, her horse charged him, and was obviously very irate.

  “Lady Ella, Apollo has been a nightmare since the battle,” Tavish explained with a chuckle. “He was nae pleased to be tied with the other horses and unable to help ye. And when Gavin took ye to the burn, he all but attacked me to get to ye. I think he needs to see for himself ye are well.”

  Ella instantly went to her loyal friend. She crooned to him as she would a child, and when he was calm, she turned to Gavin.

  “I am well enough to ride him.”

  “Nae,” Gavin said without hesitation. He then nodded to Osgood.

  When Osgood tried to lift her again, Apollo butted him with his massive head. His next attempt, much like the first, failed as well.

  Turning to Gavin, the giant declared, “Mayhap the lass can ride the stubborn beast for an hour or two. He is a wee bit agitated at the moment. And we will save time by having Lady Ella ride her own horse.”

  Thoughts of slaying the stubborn horse danced in Gavin’s head, but since that would only upset Ella, he conceded, “Aye, she may ride him, but nae for verra long.”

  Apollo was nudging Ella in a peculiar way, almost as if he was checking her body for wounds. In a soft voice, she said, “Easy, love. Be calm so I can mount.”

  The horse was immediately soothed, then to the surprise of all watching, he lowered his massive body to the ground, sensing his master needed help mounting.

  Nicholas and Gavin exchanged looks of stunned disbelief, then the former asked, “Did ye teach him that trick, to lower himself?”

  Adjusting her position on Apollo’s back, she replied, “Nae, this is the second time he has ever done it.”

  Gavin asked, “When was the first time?”

  “When I was with Gabriel and we were leaving Greystone.”

  Pondering this odd action for a moment, Gavin asked, “After ye were whipped?”

  “Aye,” she replied, as she looked out at the sun kissed the horizon.

  Seeing her reaction, Gavin pulled his horse close to hers.

  “I dinna mean to bring up a painful memory, only learn why a horse would do as yers has done on his own accord. I believe Apollo kens when ye are hurt, and in his own way tries to help ye.”

  Smiling, he added, “He is an extraordinary animal. He loves ye deeply, but he will only have ye for a short time. Then ye will ride with me. I ken ye are in pain, and nae just physically.”

  Ella knew he was right, but fought to conceal it from the others as they rode away from camp. Her entire body hurt from trying to fight off the man who attacked her, but it was nothing compared to the knowledge that she killed not just one man, but many. Before today, she had never considered how hard it was for a warrior to take life, but now she knew the pain they harbored.

  As they rode through the moors of Scotland, she wondered if God would forgive her for taking the lives of so many. Eight years ago, she took her mother’s life, and today she took the lives of six men. Like a disease, solemn misery sickened her heart, leaving her trembling from its wrath.

  As the sun began to descend in the sky, Gavin was well aware that her shield of composure was faltering. Over the last few hours, he and his men watched her set a breakneck pace, driving herself by sheer will alone. They believed the exertion of galloping headlong over the land and putting as much distance as possible from the battle site, she was trying to replace the feeling of despair with reckless abandonment.

  Try as she might, Gavin knew she could not run from the emotional heartache that lay beyond the surface. Exhausted, frightened, and in pain, her self-control was crumbling piece by piece. He patiently gave into her desire, allowing her space and time as he waited for the sign indicating she needed him. This was beyond difficult for him, since he desperately wanted to hold her close and ease her suffering.

  Her world was shattering, Ella thought, and it was not only due to her actions today. Unable to comprehend what she was feeling, she looked over to Gavin for strength, willing him to pull her from this storm of misery. Like a protective shield, in his arms she was safe. He was a colossal warrior with a tender heart, and she knew she would love him until the end of time.

  The sign was given. The longing in her eyes, the plump bottom lip quivering, followed by the faint whisper of his name. Quick as a flash of lightening, he hauled her from her horse to sit across his lap, then covered her with his plaid. She gave no protest, only snuggled deeper into his warmth and rested her head upon his chest. When he felt her tighten her grip on his tunic, he signaled to his men that he needed a private moment with her.

  “What ye did today took courage I have ne’er seen in a woman,” he began as he slowed his horse’s pace to a walk.

  “And yer skill with the bow would rival that of my seasoned warriors.” His voice was softer when he added, “The tribulation ye feel is verra common, and happens to all warriors after their first battle.”

  His soothing voice and Scottish burr reminded her of the happiness she felt before her tenth summer. Thoughtful for a moment, she then asked, “Did you feel this way after your first battle?”

  “Och, ye have the right of it I fear.” He chuckled remembering how he handled himself that day, then decided it might be an amusing tale for her to hear.

  “I was twelve when my father decided the time had come for me to become a man and fight in my first battle. It was against Clan MacElroy and-”

  “You were too young to fight against grown men,” she interrupted. “Was your father not fearful you would be hurt or even killed?”

  From her outraged tone, he knew her spirits were returning.

  “Nae, my father believed that because his blood runs through my veins, I needed to prove myself years earlier than the other lads my age. And that if I were truly his son, nae harm would befall me.”

  “Were you hurt in this battle?”

  Smiling at the concern in her voice, he replied, “Nae, most of the MacElroys dinna think I was significant enough to fight. They told me they dinna kill children and to go run home to my mama.”

  Giggling, she tried to hide her face in his chest.

  Gavin lifted her chin, and in faux anger asked, “Are ye laughing at me, vixen?”

  “Nae, I would never. Please continue with your story.”

  “As I was saying, nary would fight me. I kenned my father was watching, expecting me to kill at least one man; so I bellowed the Macleod war cry, which dinna sound very fierce from a wee lad, and lunged at the closest warrior. The man I attacked must have thought I was mad. He was so shocked he dinna even defend himself.”

  Gavin paused and considered his words before continuing, “I pierced his shoulder with my sword. After yanking the bloody weapon from his body, he struck me across the face then threw me to the ground and kicked my sword out of reach. When he raised his sword to end my life, I knew I had to defend myself. My only weapon was a dagger on my belt, which I used to stab him in the chest, delivering him a mortal wound.”

  Her luminous eyes widened in shock and horror.

  “I can still remember his face and expression as he fell to the ground. I stood frozen over his body until Bowen shook me so hard my teeth rattled.”

  “Bowen?”

  “He was captain of my father’s army, and continues in that role, but is now married to my mother.”

  Returning to the story, he said, “Bowen ordered me to stay close to him throughout the battle, and by the end I had killed a total of three men. When the other Macleods were celebrating their victory, I stood motionless among the bodies of our enemy. Bowen told me later that I was violently shaking, staring down at the dead, and wouldnae speak or move.

  Ella took hold
of his hand as she continued to listen.

  “Many of my clansmen came over to me, as did my father who grew enraged by my lack of response. When he struck me, I woke from my stupor.”

  Ella let out a soft gasp, but she did not interrupt.

  “When I finally locked eyes with my father, he put his hand on my shoulder and said ‘Ye made me proud today, son’. It was the first time my sire every spoke those words.”

  With wide eye anticipation, she asked, “What did you say?”

  Smiling, he looked down at her, and then confessed, “I said naught to my father, even after he voiced his pride in me, his eldest son. What I did do was retch all over him.”

  Gavin laughed when he added, “I will nae forget the look on the old man’s face, or how he cursed everyone and everything in sight. His men were rolling with laughter, and on the way home each told me the story of their first battle and the natural effects they experienced.”

  Ella’s face was expressionless when she asked, “Is that why you told me your story?”

  “Aye, but I can see that ye dinna like it,” he said, noticing her intense expression. “Mayhap I should have left out the part about the blood and-”

  “Nae,” she interrupted. “I am glad you told me your story, but . . .”

  “Ye are angry?”

  “Aye,” she retorted. “Your father . . . I’m aware ‘tis nae my place to speak of him, but . . .”

  He smiled, readying himself to hear what she thought about his father, then asked, “But?”

  Her anger was unleashed.

  “But . . . he was a vile . . . loathsome . . . despicable man to . . . to . . . to make his son fight against men twice his size. You could have been killed, and all he can say is, ‘ye made me proud, son.’” She had lowered her voice and spoke with a surprisingly good Scottish accent to imitate his father.

  She concluded her tirade by saying, “Blast his black heart! I am glad you retched on him. I wish he were here now so I could retch on him.”

  Gavin threw back his head and roared with laughter.

  “Ye are a braw and bonnie lass, my wee warrior,” he said as he cupped her face. Unable to resist, he then gave her a long, hard kiss.

  Over the next few hours, as they rode further into the Highlands, the Macleods entertained Ella with stories about their first battle. The tales were so amusing that tears sparkled in her eyes. After each man told his story, she intrigued them with her questions.

  “Since we have all taken a life, does that mean we will go to hell?”

  Gavin and his men were aghast, she noticed then quickly added, “You do not have to answer that question. ‘Twas only curious is all.”

  The Macleods brought their horses to a halt, understanding the importance of the question as well as the direction of her thoughts.

  Lifting her chin so he could look into her eyes, Gavin asked, “Is that what ye have been thinking since the attack?”

  Uncomfortable at first with the attention, she then realized that the men surrounding her would not berate her ignorance. She answered honestly, “Aye.”

  “Nae, little one. We, and especially ye, will be going to heaven.”

  Being the most religious man in the group, Osgood explained, “Sweet lass, I have had this discussion with many priests, because I too was worried for my soul and the souls of my kin. What I learned was that the commandment ‘thou shall not kill’ pertains to the deliberate act of murder, taking a human life without justification.”

  Seeing the uncertainty in her eyes, he added, “A justifiable condition is self defense or to protect one’s own life or the life of another.”

  Nicholas pulled his horse closer, then said, “Those men made a premeditated decision to kill us, therefore we acted in self defense. Mayhap, they dinna plan to kill ye, but they did plan to rape ye throughout the return journey to England.”

  All eyes were on the blond haired warrior as he continued, “They wouldnae have tended yer back or any other injuries ye suffered. Moreover, by the time ye reached England, ye would have been severely ill. To escape blame for yer lost of maidenhead and illness, they would have killed ye.”

  She had showed such loyalty and trust that Nicholas decided to reveal the painful truth about his own past.

  “I am quite familiar with Roger Moreland and the sadistic men in his army. My father sent me to foster with his father when I was seven summers. For ten years, I witnessed and endured hell on earth. I swear to ye, Lady Ella, yer valiant actions today will only send ye to the kingdom of heaven, which will nae be for a verra, verra long time.”

  Ella smiled at the Macleods. Their magnanimous efforts to diminish her fears, through their stories and beliefs, touched her heart in a way that words could not describe. Her anguish and desolation faded away like an early morning mist.

  “Thank you all for . . .” She stopped, unable to choke out the rest of her words.

  The hardened Macleod warriors were immensely pleased with the result of their efforts. Normally they could not abide a woman’s tears, but Ella tears were of a different nature. They only came when she was touched by kindness, and not for the usual reasons women cried in their presence. She did not want trinkets, jewelry or a vow of undying love. All she craved was kindness, and it made her very special to them. She was a little hellion, but like their laird, they too had become quite protective and possessive of the lass.

  Spirits were high as they resumed their trek across the Highlands, and all were eager to return to Doran Castle. With only an hour or two of daylight left, they quickened their pace, but remained silent when the noticed Ella’s eyes begin to close.

  Gavin felt the tension in her muscles lessen and her body snuggle closer to his. She tucked her head under his chin, wrapped her arms around his waist, and then let out a contented sigh before drifting off to sleep.

  Looking down at the beauty in his arms, he felt immense pride. She never failed to surprise him with her relentless strength and spirit. Not until she understood that their souls were safe, did she allow herself the much-needed rest.

  Sleep, little one, while I take ye to my home where yer new life awaits.

  24

  Twilight was upon them when they came upon the familiar loch on Macleod land a scant hour from Doran Castle.

  “We have pushed the horses far enough. They need water and a short rest. I imagine ye would like to bathe the blood that stains yer skin afore we greet our kin?”

  “Aye, Gavin,” Edric said with a broad smile. “Unlike ye, we are still covered in English blood, but I dinna fault ye for taking the opportunity to bathe earlier or with whom ye bathed with.”

  Gavin smiled at Edric’s comment as he dismounted with Ella still sleeping in his arms. He then walked over to a small clearing in the woods and laid her on the plaid Paen spread for her.

  When she settled on her side with her head resting on Warin’s cloak, he looked down at the enticing picture she presented. Like a sleeping kitten, he thought, with her knees and arms drawn into her chest. Noticing the air had become cooler; he pulled off the plaid from his shoulder and gently covered her.

  “I will stay with her,” Paen began, “while the men bathe and ye talk with Brom.”

  Gavin expected to see one of his men on patrol duty, and was more the eager to speak to the young warrior. Before leaving, he turned to his brother and acknowledged, “I heard what ye said to Warin.” Pausing for a moment, he then added, “More importantly, she heard what ye said. I thank ye.”

  As he started a fire, close enough so Ella would feel the heat, Paen said, “I dinna give my loyalty because ye wished it. I gave it because she earned it. I have nae known a woman like her. I envy ye.”

  Paen chuckled when he saw the look of surprise on Gavin’s face. “Ye think I dinna ken ye?”

  With his arms across his chest, he waited for Paen to continue.

  “Aye, I ken ye well. Ye will take her for wife as soon as ye can and I dinna blame ye. Actually, if ye were nae int
ending to marry the lass Edric, Nicholas or I would have.”

  Gavin scowled at his brother’s words.

  “Be at ease, brother. We ken and respect that she has always belonged to ye.”

  Paen then waved his older brother away and said, “Now go. As we speak, it seems Brom is relaying some happy news to the others down by the loch. More than likely, he is telling them that Gabriel has been returned and is waiting for us at Doran.”

  “Aye, I believe ye are right,” Gavin said as he took in the scene of his men smiling and waving him over.

  Even though Gavin knew what Brom would say, he was eager to hear the words. With purposeful strides, he headed down to the loch.

  “Gabriel is safe and arrived at Doran Castle earlier this day, accompanied by a Sir James. Gabriel adamantly explained that he is a trusted friend and shouldnae be harmed.”

  Overcome with emotion, Gavin took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Gabriel, his beloved sister’s only child, was very special to him. His nephew had awakened something deep inside that he thought his father had destroyed years ago.

  Although the former laird had reared his sons to be ruthless on and off the battlefield, he failed to demolish the protectiveness they harbored for their family. Gabriel had taught Gavin how to express the love he had kept hidden for so long.

  “Aye, Brom. I thought those would be yer words.”

  Brom was about to ask Laird Macleod how he knew of Gabriel's return when suddenly Arth’s excited barks filled the air. The beast had finished greeting Gavin’s men, then came bounding over to his true master.

  Gavin had found Arth a year ago, after a boar had killed the rest of his litter as well as a fully-grown female wolf. Arth, a wee pup then, had hidden in the hollow of a fallen tree when Gavin and his men came upon the carnage. The beast had been frantic to get what lay inside the tree and had not noticed Gavin sneak up behind him. The boar was easily speared, pulled away from the tree, and put atop a waiting horse.

  Before mounting, Gavin saw the frightened wolf pup peek out from the tree. He had noted that the adult female was an odd mix of wolf and some unusually large breed of dog. It was then he decided to take its offspring with him to the castle.